Coherence

Coherence (from Bailey, Edward P. and Philip A. Powell, The Practical Writer, 8^th ed. New York: Thomson, 2003)

Paragraphs need more than unity. They must also have coherence. The best way to define coherence is to look at its opposite: incoherence. If a woman runs into a room screaming, "Fire! Dog! House!" we call her incoherent. Does she mean that a dog is on fire in the house? Or that the house is on fire with the dog inside? Or that a doghouse is on fire? We don't know. Although the woman apparently has some important ideas she wishes desperately to communicate, she has left out the essential links of thought. Coherence requires including those links.

This lecture discusses three important ways to achieve coherence in a one-paragraph essay:

·      explanation of the support

·      reminders of the opinion in the topic sentence

·      transitions

These important techniques will help your readers move smoothly from idea to idea within your paragraph. Then, when your doghouse catches on fire, you'll know exactly how to call for help.

EXPLANATION OF THE SUPPORT

Don't assume that your readers are specially gifted people able to read minds. You must not only present the support to the readers but also explain how it is related to the topic sentence. In other words, you must link your support— clearly and unambiguously—to the topic sentence. The author of the following paragraph does not try to explain his support at all, apparently hoping that his readers are clairvoyant:

First Try

In the early morning, I am easily annoyed by my roommate. I have to shut the ice-covered windows. A white tornado of dandruff swirls around the room. A mass of smoke from cigarettes hovers near the door. No wonder I find my roommate annoying.

No wonder, indeed! The paragraph is incoherent because the author has failed to explain how his support relates to the topic sentence. Does he mean that his roommate is annoying because he does not close the window in the morning? Or is he annoying because he opens the window every night, even in winter, thus causing the writer to be cold in the morning? And who has dandruff, and who smokes? Is it the roommate, or is it the author, who is upset because the roommate does not understand? After all, the author may be doing the best he can to get rid of thedandruff, and he is smoking heavily only because he is trying to distract himself after waking up every morning in a cold room. By being incomplete, by not explaining the support fully, the paragraph demands too much of readers. Let's guess what the writer really meant and revise the paragraph to add coherence.

Second Try

In the early morning, I am easily annoyed by my roommate. I have to shut the ice-covered windows that John, my roommate, insists on opening every night, even during the winter. A white tornado swirling around the room shows me that his dandruff problem is still in full force. A mass of smoke from John's pack-a-dayhabit hovers near the door. No wonder I find my roommate annoying.

We have now explained that John, the roommate, is guilty of the indiscretions.

The coherence is improved greatly, but the paragraph still needs work.

REMINDERS OF THE OPINIONIN THE TOPIC SENTENCE

Here we will make an assumption about readers: readers, like all of us, prefer being mentally lazy. They don't like remembering too much at once. While they read the support, they like occasional reminders of the opinion in the topic sentence so that they will remember why they are reading that support. We can remind them of the topic sentence's opinion with either of two techniques at the beginning of each item of support:

. We can repeat the exact words of the opinion.

. We can use other words that suggest the opinion.

In the sample paragraph about the roommate, we can use the word annoy in presenting each example, or we can use words such as disgusted or choking on stale smoke, which suggest annoyance. Notice the reminders in the revised paragraph:

Third Try

In the early morning, I am easily annoyed by my roommate. I am annoyed each time I have to shut the ice-covered windows that John, my roommate, insists on opening every night, even during the winter. A disgusting white tornado swirling around the room shows me that his dandruff problem is still in full force. A choking mass of stale smoke from John's pack-a-day habit hovers near the door. No wonder I find my roommate annoying. By reminding the readers that each example presents something annoying, the paragraph becomes more coherent.

TRANSITIONS

Each example in the sample paragraph now has a clear explanation of the support and a reminder of the opinion in the topic sentence, but the paragraph is still rough. It moves like a train with square wheels, chunking along abruptly from idea to idea. To help the paragraph move more smoothly, we must add transitions.

Transitions are like road signs that tell readers where they are going. If you live in Victoria and wish to drive north to Port Alberni, you don't want to stop to ask people to find out if you are on the right road. You would rather have road signs.

Similarly, readers don't want to run into an example that slows them because they don't understand how it relates to the previous example or, worse yet, how it relates to the topic sentence. In a paragraph, the road sign could behowever to tell readers that the next idea is going to contrast with the one just presented; or it could be also to tellreaders that another idea like the preceding one is about to be presented; or it could be therefore to tell readers to prepare for a conclusion.

These and other transitions will keep your reader from losing valuable time because she has to stop, or, if she takes a chance and presses on, from arriving nowhere, which is where she may end her trip through a paragraph without transitions.

Common Transitions

To add an idea: also, and, another, equally important, finally, furthermore, in addition, last, likewise, moreover, most important, next, second, third

To give an example: for example, for instance, as an illustration, as a case in point, consider ...

To make a contrast: and yet, but, however, instead, nevertheless, nonetheless, on the contrary, on the other hand, still

To begin a conclusion: as a result, clearly, hence, in conclusion, no wonder, obviously, then, therefore, thus

A paragraph must have transitions, but where should you place them?

Critical Locations for Transitions

Topic sentence

Transition

Specific support

Transition

Sometimes you will find that no transition is necessary between the topic sentence and the first item of specific support because the second sentence of the paragraph is so obviously an example that a transitional expression seems too mechanical. For instance, you might be able to leave out the first transition in this final revision of the sample paragraph about the roommate. The remaining transitions, however, are all desirable.

Final Version

In the early morning, I am easily annoyed by my roommate. For example, I am annoyed each time I have to shut the ice-covered windows that John, my roommate, insists on opening every night, even during the winter. I amalso disgusted by a white tornado swirling around the room, which shows me that his dandruff problem is still in full force. Most bothersome, though, is the choking mass of stale smoke from John's pack-a-day habit that hovers near the door. No wonder I find my roommate annoying.

Our sample paragraph is finally coherent. We have:

·            explained the support

·            reminded the reader frequently of the opinion in the topic sentence

·            added transitions at the critical locations

You're so familiar with the above paragraph by now, and it's so simple, you may believe the transitions aren't really necessary.

Good writing shouldn't be an IQ test or a guessing game for the readers, so let them know what you're thinking as your ideas shift directions. For now, use the three techniques demonstrated in this lecture, even if they seemmechanical. As you gain experience as a writer, you will learn more subtle ways to link your ideas to each other and to the topic sentence. Your immediate goal now, though, is to communicate coherently with your readers.

Three Techniques for Coherence

·            explanation of the support

·            reminder of the opinion in the topic sentence

·            transitions