Two More Irony Selections

“A Wife in London”  by Thomas Hardy

I--The Tragedy 

She sits in the tawny vapour
   That the City lanes have uprolled,
   Behind whose webby fold on fold
Like a waning taper
   The street-lamp glimmers cold.

A messenger's knock cracks smartly,
   Flashed news is in her hand
   Of meaning it dazes to understand
Though shaped so shortly:
   He--has fallen--in the far South Land . . .

II--The Irony

'Tis the morrow; the fog hangs thicker,
   The postman nears and goes:
   A letter is brought whose lines disclose
By the firelight flicker
   His hand, whom the worm now knows:

Fresh--firm--penned in highest feather -
   Page-full of his hoped return,
   And of home-planned jaunts by brake and burn
In the summer weather,
   And of new love that they would learn.

The Cough Aldous Huxley.  Daily News “Little Tales”, 20 June 1922.

Mr. Panton lived for music. A good chamber concert, like the one he was listening to tonight, was all, indeed, that he had to live for now. They had begun the slow movement of the G. minor Quintet. All the sadness of Mozart's life was being evoked in quiet beauty from the past. Mr. Panton leaned back and shut his eyes. He felt positively happy. The melody drooped and climbed. The live parts threatened their separate ways, chased one another, joined in rich chords, broke apart. Mr. Panton listened. Suddenly he opened his eyes, sat up. A look of apprehension crossed his face. From beatific ecstasy he had plunged back into the depths; he was going to cough.

That cough — it had been with him now for years. One cold, wet January it came; it had never left him since. It was a habit now, a part of him. The tickling in the throat was becoming unbearable. The desire to cough grew and swelled. It was like a river in spate thrusting against a dam; in a moment the flimsy barrier would go down before it. Mr. Panton held his breath, swallowed, set his teeth. It was no good. The dam broke.

Mr. Panton's cough was like the noise of a falling tree — a violent tearing, a final stupendous crash. People started, scared faces turned round, indignant voices said "Hush!" Buried in his handkerchief, Mr. Panton was agonizingly trying to choke back a second outburst. The music drooped and climbed. Tear and crash, tear and crash — it was as though a forest of trees were falling. Red in the face, Mr. Panton coughed and coughed. Hush! Hush! A hundred angry eyes were turned towards him. The players scraped away, but it was only in rare snatches that Mozart's lovely melancholy reached the audience. Tear and crash, tear and crash — Mr. Panton had never known a more frightful paroxysm.

An attendant touched him on the shoulder: the management much regretted, but they must ask the gentleman to leave the building. Meekly, and in a dumb despair, Mr. Panton put on his hat and walked out into the night. The last of the three things that had made life worth living had been taken away from him. First his wife had gone. He remembered her farewell letter: "After listening to your cough for six years I have two alternatives before me, either to leave you and remain sane, or to stay with you and go mad, probably homicidally." She had left. Loneliness drove Mr. Panton to the Club. A year after his wife's departure he had had that letter from the secretary; his distressing affliction disturbed the other members; reluctantly, the committee must ask him to resign; they returned him his entrance fee. And now his music had been taken from him. Life was no longer worth living; he would put an end to it.

Mr. Panton leaned over the parapet of Westminster Bridge. It would all be over in a moment, he reflected; he couldn't swim. He had only to make the decisive movement, and there he'd be in the water — struggling, gone....

A series of violent explosive noises attracted the attention of a policeman standing by the Boadicea statue. He walked quickly onto the bridge. A small, middle-aged man was hanging, doubled up, over the parapet, coughing with incredible violence. The policeman took him by the arm.

"You’ll be falling over if you're not careful," he said. "I ‘eard you coughin’ a mile off."

Mr. Panton suffered himself to be led away. The cough had been too much for him again.

Pronouns

DEAR ABBY (Abigail Van Buren) on PRONOUN ANTECEDENT AGREEMENT

Dear Abby:

I protest the use of the pronoun "He" or "him" when referring to people in general. An example from one of your columns: Don't ever tell a child that HE is bad. If HE misbehaves, tell HIM you don't like what HE did; don't tell HIM you don't like HIM.

The child could have been a boy or a girl, right? But by using only the male pronoun, it implies that males are of primary importance-another blow to the female's self-esteem.

After all, how hard is it to write or say, "she/he" or "his/hers" or "him/her"?

Faithful Reader

Dear Faithful Reader:

The rule of grammar you speak of, which is to use the masculine pronoun when it applies to both male and female, was NOT devised to put down women. And it is not likely to be changed in the interest of women's rights. Writing "he/she" and "him/her" IS a time-waster, and I, for one, would find it extremely burdensome.

Anyone who tried to follow "Faithful Reader's well-meaning but wrong-headed attempt to eliminate "sexist language" would end up writing terrible, clunky prose, so don't do it. Instead, choose either the female pronoun or the male pronoun. I don't care. But, I repeat, avoid the "he/she" construction (worse still "he or she"; him/her; his/hers construction unless you want to annoy your reader.

Now, please read my lecture on Pronoun-Antecedent Agreement below. It is a kind of companion lesson to Subject-Verb Agreement, which we looked at last week.  

Pronouns: agreement. A pronoun must agree with its antecedent in number (singular or plural) and gender(masculine, feminine, or neuter). The antecedent of a pronoun is the word or words to which the pronoun refers. For example, in the sentence Jason lost his book, the pronoun his refers to the antecedent Jason. Another example is Jason could not find his book. He had lost it. In the second sentence there are two pronouns--he and it. The antecedent of "he" is Jason and the antecedent of “it” is book. With the exception of constructions such as “it is nearly eight o'clock”, in which “it” has no anteced­ent, all pronouns should have antecedents.

A.  Gender. If the gender of a singular antecedent is unknown or general, as in student, for example, then the antecedent is treated as if it were mas­culine. (This usage has come under attack in recent years and has begun to fade. The charge of conscious or unconscious sexism is difficult to refute, and sentences can usually be rephrased easily.)

 ANTECEDENT                                 PRONOUN

The boy lost                                          his book.

The girl lost                                           her book.

The briefcase lost                                  its handle.

The student lost                                    his book.

The students lost                                   their books.

 B. Number. Most pronoun agreement errors occur when the pronoun does not agree with its antecedent in number. If the antecedent is singular, the pronoun must be singular; if the antecedent is plural, the pronoun must be plural.

 Indefinite pronouns. Words like anybody, somebody, everybody, no­body, and each are always singular. Others like few and many are always plural. Indefinite pronouns such as all, any, most, and more can be either singular or plural, depending on the object of the preposition which follows them: All of my concern is justified; but, All of my concerns are justified.

 INCORRECT:

Somebody lost their books.

No one turns their paper in on time.

 CORRECT:

Somebody lost his books.

No one turns his paper in on time.

 2. Collective nouns. Some singular nouns refer to more than one thing: group, youth, family, jury, and audience, for example. If the noun acts as a unit, it takes a singular pronoun. If the individuals within the unit act separately, the noun takes a plural pronoun.

The jury reached its decision.

The jury [members] divided bitterly on their decision.

The audience rose to its feet to show its approval.

The audience stayed in their seats through the entire first act.

 3. Antecedents joined by either . . . or and neither . . . nor.

When two antecedents are joined by either . . . or or neither . . . nor, the pro­noun agrees with the antecedentcloser to it:

Either Ruby or Janet lost her album.

Either the mother or the daughters lost their albums.

Either the daughters or the mother lost her album.

Neither the boys nor the girls lost their albums.

 4. Compound antecedents. Except when the words function as a single unit—e.g., “Macaroni and cheese is my favorite dish; I make it often”—antecedents joined by and take a plural pronoun:

The owl and the pussycat shook their heads sadly.

 Test with answers:

Chapter 16_Mastering Pronoun-Antecedent Agreement

Alternative Mastery Test

Find and correct the 13 errors in the following sentences.  Wherever possible, avoid gender-biased language.

1.   Each applicant must present themselves to the receptionist 15 minutes before their scheduled interviews.

2.   Danni was looking forward to roller-blading along the seawall in Vancouver, but when she unpacked her bags, she found that she’d left them at home.

3.   “Every dog has his day” is an old saying that means everyone will get their chance if they are patient.

4.   My roommate has a sister that may be able to help me with my grammar problems.

5.   Josh and Susan kept the dogs happy by feeding them biscuits, but soon they were gone and they wished they had more.

6.   Here’s another potential customer that forgot to put their address on the order form!

7.   Jan defended Nancy when she appeared before the Student Disciplinary Committee, but she was very nervous.

8.   I much prefer watching movies at home than in a movie theatre, so when my parents bought a 54-inch wall-hung plasma one, I couldn’t believe my luck.

9.   If you lend someone $20 and never see them again, it was probably worth it.

10.               Anyone who doesn’t learn from their mistakes will eventually discover that they are making the same mistakes again and again.

ANSWERS TO 16.6 TEST

1.   All applicants must present themselves to the receptionist 15 minutes before their scheduled interviews.

2.   Danni was looking forward to roller-blading along the seawall in Vancouver, but when she unpacked her bags, she found that she’d left her roller blades at home.

3.   “Every dog has his day” is an old saying that means all will get their chance if they are patient.

4.   My roommate has a sister who may be able to help me with my grammar problems.

5.   Josh and Susan kept the dogs happy by feeding them biscuits, but soon the biscuits were gone and they wished they had more.

6.   Here’s another potential customer who forgot to put her (or his) address on the order form!

7.   Jan defended Nancy when Nancy appeared before the Student Disciplinary Committee, but Jan was very nervous.

8.   I much prefer watching movies at home than in a movie theatre, so when my parents bought a 54-inch wall-hung plasma television, I couldn’t believe my luck.

9.   If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, the experience was probably worth it.

10.                People who don’t learn from their mistakes will eventually discover that they are making the same mistakes again and again

Some Important Links

To get to the link just hit the Control key while putting the cursor on the url.

The link below gives the complete text of “The Cask of Amontillado” on the left side of the page, with explanatory notes on the right side. Just click on each page of the story.

http://www2.ivcc.edu/rambo/poe1.htm

Here is another full text of the story with hyperlinked definitions of difficult words.http://poestories.com/read/amontillado

This link provides excellent tutorials on all aspects of MLA documentation.

http://library.hunter.cuny.edu/tutorials/mla/mla_tutorial.html

This link to a vidcast from Purdue University, Online Writing Lab, explains how to format in MLA style.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24Y31UrG2q4

Link to youtube short film adaptation of Saki’s “The Open Window”, called “The Open Doors”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBXb-8YoR0E

Link to youtube short film version of Max Shulman’s comic story “Love is a Fallacy”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eK_tb7ob8Kg

Link to full text of “Love is a Fallacy”

http://www.filozofia.bme.hu/sites/default/files/love_is_a_fallacy.pdf

Irony

Readings Containing One or More Types of Irony for the Research Essay Option

1.Does it Matter? By Siegfried Sassoon (1886-1967)

Does it matter?—losing your legs?...
For people will always be kind,
And you need not show that you mind
When the others come in after hunting
To gobble their muffins and eggs.

Does it matter ?—losing your sight?...
There's such splendid work for the blind;
And people will always be kind,
As you sit on the terrace remembering
And turning your face to the light.

Do they matter?—those dreams from the pit?...
You can drink and forget and be glad,
And people won't say that you're mad;
For they'll know you've fought for your country
And no one will worry a bit.

Study Questions
Interestingly, Sassoon was entitled to write the initials MC after his name. What do these initials stand for? [Hint: it doesn’t mean “master of ceremonies.”] This 15 line poem was written during World War I]
Does it Matter?

1. Who is talking?
2. What type of irony—situational, dramatic or verbal, pervades the poem?
3. What are the dreams from the pit?
4. What is the poem’s theme?

2.Richard Cory    by Edwin Arlington Robinson

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,

Clean favored, and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,

“Good-morning,” and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich — yes, richer than a king —
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything

To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.

3.“Those Naked Dangers”  Letter to Editor, Victoria Times-Colonist , June 8, 2009

I noticed with keen interest the story about the nude pictures in Victoria's city hall. [Victoria Times‑Colonist had printed a story about the controversy resulting from a decision to display in the foyer of city hall a group of photographs and paintings, some of which depicted nudes.] I cannot help wondering just how much of this blatant type of thing is rampant in our fair city.

Just recently, I accompanied three young children to the ballet at the Royal Theatre, and you can imagine my feelings as I spied, lolling about up near the ceiling, gigantic three‑dimensional naked plaster ladies!

May I suggest that we all go out into the town and search out further examples of this sort to awaken public awareness to the insidious influences which lurk about, constantly threatening to undermine the morals of the unwary.

You were quite right in assigning this sort of news to the front page. Let the tedious details of judicial inequities and human rights violations languish where they belong—on less conspicuous pages.

A concerned citizen,

Victoria.

5."The Appointment in Samarra"
(as retold by W. Somerset Maugham [1933])

[The speaker is Death]

There was a merchant in Bagdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions and in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling, and said, “Master, just now when I was in the marketplace I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was Death that jostled me.  She looked at me and made a threatening gesture. Now, lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate.  I will go to Samarra and there Death will not find me.”

The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant mounted it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks, and as fast as the horse could gallop he went.  Then the merchant went down to the marketplace and he saw me standing in the crowd and he came to me and said, “Why did you make a threating getsture to my servant when you saw him this morning?”

“ That was not a threatening gesture”, I said, “it was only a start of surprise.  I was astonished to see him in Bagdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra.”

6. The Chaser    John Collier

Alan Austen, as nervous as a kitten, went up certain dark and creaky stairs in the neighborhood of Pell Street, and peered about for a long time on the dime landing before he found the name he wanted written obscurely on one of the doors.

He pushed open this door, as he had been told to do, and found himself in a tiny room, which contained no furniture but a plain kitchen table, a rocking‑chair, and an ordinary chair. On one of the dirty buff‑coloured walls were a couple of shelves, containing in all perhaps a dozen bottles and jars. An old man sat in the rocking‑chair, reading a newspaper. Alan, without a word, handed him the card he had been given.

"Sit down, Mr. Austen," said the old man very politely.

"I am glad to make your acquaintance."

"Is it true," asked Alan, "that you have a certain mixture that has‑er‑quite extraordinary effects?"

"My dear sir," replied the old man, "my stock in trade is not very large‑I don't deal in laxatives and teething mixtures‑but such as it is, it is varied. I think nothing I sell has effects which could be precisely described as ordinary."

"Well, the fact is. . ." began Alan.

"Here, for example," interrupted the old man, reaching for a bottle from the shelf. "Here is a liquid as colourless as water, almost tasteless, quite imperceptible in coffee, wine, or any other beverage. It is also quite imperceptible to any known method of autopsy."

"Do you mean it is a poison?" cried Alan, very much horrified.

"Call it a glove‑cleaner if you like," said the old man indifferently. "Maybe it will clean gloves. I have never tried. One might call it a life‑cleaner. Lives need cleaning sometimes."

"I want nothing of that sort," said Alan.

"Probably it is just as well," said the old man. "Do you know the price of this? For one teaspoonful, which is sufficient, I ask five thousand dollars. Never less. Not a penny less."

"I hope all your mixtures are not as expensive," said Alan apprehensively.

"Oh dear, no," said the old man. "It would be no good charging that sort of price for a love potion, for example. Young people who need a love potion very seldom have five thousand dollars. Otherwise they would not need a love potion."

"I am glad to hear that," said Alan.

"I look at it like this," said the old man. "Please a customer with one article, and he will come back when he needs another. Even if it is more costly. He will save up for it, if necessary."

"So," said Alan, "you really do sell love potions?"

"If I did not sell love potions," said the old man, reaching for another bottle, "I should not have mentioned the other matter to you. It is only when one is in a position to oblige that one can afford to be so confidential."

"And these potions," said Alan. "They are not just just‑er‑"

"Oh, no," said the old man. "Their effects are permanent, and extend far beyond the mere casual impulse. But they include it. Oh, yes they include it. Bountifully, insistently. Everlastingly."

"Dear me!" said Alan, attempting a look of scientific detachment. "How very interesting!"

"But consider the spiritual side," said the old man.

"I do, indeed," said Alan.

"For indifference," said the old man, they substitute devotion. For scorn, adoration. Give one tiny measure of this to the young lady‑its flavour is imperceptible in orange juice, soup, or cocktails‑and however gay and giddy she is, she will change altogether. She will want nothing but solitude and you."

"I can hardly believe it," said Alan. "She is so fond of parties."

"She will not like them any more," said the old man. "She will be afraid of the pretty girls you may meet."

"She will actually be jealous?" cried Alan in a rapture. "Of me?"

"Yes, she will want to be everything to you."

"She is, already. Only she doesn't care about it."

"She will, when she has taken this. She will care intensely. You will be her sole interest in life."

"Wonderful!" cried Alan.

"She will want to know all you do," said the old man. "All that has happened to you during the day. Every word of it. She will want to know what you are thinking about, why you smile suddenly, why you are looking sad."

"That is love!" cried Alan.

"Yes," said the old man. "How carefully she will look after you! She will never allow you to be tired, to sit in a draught, to neglect your food. If you are an hour late, she will be terrified. She will think you are killed, or that some siren has caught you."

"I can hardly imagine Diana like that!" cried Alan, overwhelmed with joy.

"You will not have to use your imagination," said the old man. "And, by the way, since there are always sirens, if by any chance you should, later on, slip a little, you need not worry. She will forgive you, in the end. She will be terribly hurt, of course, but she will forgive you‑in the end."

"That will not happen," said Alan fervently.

"Of course not," said the old man. "But, if it did, you need not worry. She would never divorce you. Oh, no! And, of course, she will never give you the least, the very least, grounds for‑uneasiness."

"And how much," said Alan, "is this wonderful mixture?"

"It is not as dear," said the old man, "as the glove‑cleaner, or life‑cleaner, as I sometimes call it. No. That is five thousand dollars, never a penny less. One has to be older than you are, to indulge in that sort of thing. One has to save up for it."

"But the love potion?" said Alan.

"Oh, that," said the old man, opening the drawer in the kitchen table, and taking out a tiny, rather dirty-­looking phial. "That is just a dollar."

"I can't tell you how grateful I am," said Alan, watching him fill it.

"I like to oblige," said the old man. "Then customers come back, later in life, when they are better off, and want more expensive things. Here you are. You will find it very effective."

"Thank you again," said Alan. "Good‑bye."

"Au revoir," said the man.

7.The Unicorn in the Garden 

James Thurber

 Once upon a sunny morning a man who sat in a breakfast nook looked up from his scrambled eggs to see a white unicorn with a golden horn quietly cropping the roses in the garden. The man went up to the bedroom where his wife was still asleep and woke her. "There's a unicorn in the garden," he said. "Eating roses." She opened one unfriendly eye and looked at him. "The unicorn is a mythical beast," she said, and turned her back on him. The man walked slowly downstairs and out into the garden. The unicorn was still there; he was now browsing among the tulips. "Here, unicorn," said the man and pulled up a lily and gave it to him. The unicorn ate it gravely. With a high heart, because there was a unicorn in his garden, the man went upstairs and roused his wife a gain. "The unicorn," he said, "ate a lily." His wife sat up in bed and looked at him, coldly. "You are a booby," she said, "and I am going to have you put in a booby-hatch." The man, who never liked the words "booby" and "booby-hatch," and who liked them even less on a shining morning when there was a unicorn in the garden, thought for a moment. "We'll see about that," he said. He walked over to the door. "He has a golden horn in the middle of his forehead," he told her. Then he went back to the garden to watch the unicorn; but the unicorn had gone away. The man sat among the roses and went to sleep. 

 And as soon as the husband had gone out of the house, the wife got up and dressed as fast as she could. She was very excited and there was a gloat in her eye. She telephoned the police and she telephoned the psychiatrist; she told them to hurry to her house  and bring a strait-jacket. When the police and the psychiatrist looked at her with great interest. "My husband," she said, "saw a unicorn this morning." The police looked at the psychiatrist and the psychiatrist looked at the police. "He told me it ate a lily," she said. The psychiatrist looked at the police and the police looked at the psychiatrist. "He told me it had a golden horn in the middle of its forehead," she said. At a solemn signal from the signal from the psychiatrist, the police leaped fro m their chairs and seized the wife. They had a hard time subduing her, for she put up a terrific struggle, but they finally subdued her. Just as they got her into the strait-jacket, the husband came back into the house. 

 "Did you tell your wife you saw a unicorn?" asked the police. "Of course not," said the husband. "The unicorn is a mythical beast." "That's all I wanted to know," said the psychiatrist. "Take her away. I'm sorry, sir, but your wife is as crazy as a jay bi rd." So they took her away, cursing and screaming, and shut her up in an institution. The husband lived happily ever after. 

 Moral: Don't count your boobies until they are hatched. 

End

8. The Open Window ­­by Saki (H.H. Munro)

"My aunt will be down presently, Mr. Nuttel," said a very self­possessed young lady of fifteen; "in the meantime you must try and put up with me."

Framton Nuttel endeavored to say the correct something which should duly flatter the niece of the moment without unduly discounting the aunt that was to come. Privately he doubted more than ever whether these formal visits on a succession of total strangers would do much towards helping the nerve cure which he was supposed to be undergoing

"I know how it will be," his sister had said when he was preparing to migrate to this rural retreat; "you will bury yourself down there and not speak to a living soul, and your nerves will be worse than ever from moping. I shall just give you letters of introduction to all the people I know there. Some of them, as far as I can remember, were quite nice."

Framton wondered whether Mrs. Sappleton, the lady to whom he was presenting one of the letters of introduction came into the nice division.

"Do you know many of the people round here?" asked the niece, when she judged that they had had sufficient silent communion.

"Hardly a soul," said Framton. "My sister was staying here, at the rectory, you know, some four years ago, and she gave me letters of introduction to some of the people here." He made the last statement in a tone of distinct regret.

"Then you know practically nothing about my aunt?" pursued the self­possessed young

lady.

"Only her name and address," admitted the caller. He was wondering whether Mrs. Sappleton was in the married or widowed state. An undefinable something about the roomseemed to suggest masculine habitation.

"Her great tragedy happened just three years ago," said the child; "that would be since your sister's time."

"Her tragedy?" asked Framton; somehow in this restful country spot tragedies seemed out of place.

"You may wonder why we keep that window wide open on an October afternoon," said the niece, indicating a large French window that opened on to a lawn.

"It is quite warm for the time of the year," said Framton; "but has that window got anything to do with the tragedy?"

"Out through that window, three years ago to a day, her husband and her two young brothers went off for their day's shooting. They never came back. In crossing the moor to their favorite snipe­shooting ground they were all three engulfed in a treacherous piece of bog. It had been that dreadful wet summer, you know, and places that were safe in other years gave way suddenly without warning. Their bodies were never recovered. That was the dreadful part of it." Here the child's voice lost its self­possessed note and became falteringly human. "Poor aunt always thinks that they will come back someday, they and the little brown spaniel that was lost with them, and walk in at that window just as they used to do. That is why the window is kept open every evening till it is quite dusk. Poor dear aunt, she has often told me how they went out, her husband with his white waterproof coat over his arm, and Ronnie, her youngest brother, singing 'Bertie, why do you bound?' as he always did to tease her, because she said it got on her nerves. Do you know, sometimes on still, quiet evenings like this, I almost get a creepy feeling that they will all walk in through that window­­"

She broke off with a little shudder. It was a relief to Framton when the aunt bustled into the room with a whirl of apologies for being late in making her appearance.

"I hope Vera has been amusing you?" she said.

"She has been very interesting," said Framton.

"I hope you don't mind the open window," said Mrs. Sappleton briskly; "my husband and brothers will be home directly from shooting, and they always come in this way. They've been out for snipe in the marshes today, so they'll make a fine mess over my poor carpets. So like you menfolk, isn't it?"

She rattled on cheerfully about the shooting and the scarcity of birds, and the prospects for duck in the winter. To Framton it was all purely horrible. He made a desperate but only

partially successful effort to turn the talk on to a less ghastly topic; he was conscious that his hostess was giving him only a fragment of her attention, and her eyes were constantly strayingpast him to the open window and the lawn beyond. It was certainly an unfortunate coincidence that he should have paid his visit on this tragic anniversary.

"The doctors agree in ordering me complete rest, an absence of mental excitement, and avoidance of anything in the nature of violent physical exercise," announced Framton, who labored under the tolerably widespread delusion that total strangers and chance acquaintances are hungry for the least detail of one's ailments and infirmities, their cause and cure. "On the matter of diet they are not so much in agreement," he continued.

"No?" said Mrs. Sappleton, in a voice which only replaced a yawn at the last moment. Then she suddenly brightened into alert attention­­but not to what Framton was saying.

"Here they are at last!" she cried. "Just in time for tea, and don't they look as if they were muddy up to the eyes!"

Framton shivered slightly and turned towards the niece with a look intended to convey sympathetic comprehension. The child was staring out through the open window with a dazed horror in her eyes. In a chill shock of nameless fear Framton swung round in his seat and looked in the same direction.

In the deepening twilight three figures were walking across the lawn towards the window, they all carried guns under their arms, and one of them was additionally burdened with a white coat hung over his shoulders. A tired brown spaniel kept close at their heels. Noiselessly they neared the house, and then a hoarse young voice chanted out of the dusk:

"I said, Bertie, why do you bound?"

Framton grabbed wildly at his stick and hat; the hall door, the gravel drive, and the front gate were dimly noted stages in his headlong retreat. A cyclist coming along the road had to run into the hedge to avoid imminent collision.

"Here we are, my dear," said the bearer of the white mackintosh, coming in through the window, "fairly muddy, but most of it's dry. Who was that who bolted out as we came up?"

"A most extraordinary man, a Mr. Nuttel," said Mrs. Sappleton; "could only talk about his illnesses, and dashed off without a word of goodbye or apology when you arrived. One would think he had seen a ghost."

"I expect it was the spaniel," said the niece calmly; "he told me he had a horror of dogs. He was once hunted into a cemetery somewhere on the banks of the Ganges by a pack of pariah dogs, and had to spend the night in a newly dug grave with the creatures snarling and grinning and foaming just above him. Enough to make anyone lose his nerve."

Romance at short notice was her specialty.

“The Open Window” questions

1.     What does Framton think he has seen? What, in fact, has he seen?

2.     When does the reader realize that the niece has been lying to Framton?

3.     Why is Framton a particularly good candidate for believing the niece’s lies?

4.     The author repeatedly refers to the niece as “self­possessed.” What does this mean? Why is it important that the reader know this about the niece?

5.     The niece is a good actress, as well as being a good liar. Give two examples of her convincing acting.

6.     A surprise ending is an unexpected twist at the end of a story. Such an ending is said to be ironic because it is not what the reader expects. Find clues early in the story that foreshadow the surprise ending.

Handbook Answers

HANDBOOK 

Answer Key

Answers: Subjects and Predicates (p. 501)

1 . The full moon / rose majestically over the mountain peak.

2 . John / was ill on the day of the big test.

3 . The boys and girls / laughed and splashed happily in the pool.

4 . That man / by the door is my uncle.

5 . The judge / revoked Rudy’s parole and ordered him to jail.

6 . The tall oak / shaded almost the entire backyard.

7 . My favourite subject / is English.

8 . Mr. Eames / has bought a wicker chair for his living room.

Answers: Objects, Complements, and Appositives (p.504)

1. SC

2. IO

3. OC

4. DO

5. AP

6. DO

7. OC

8. SC

Answers: Nouns (p.505)

1. Jeremy, task, German, summer

2. Scrabble, game, evening

3. chairperson, decision, committee (you may need to explain that you is a pronoun rather than a noun per se)

4. tree, blossoms, bees

5. apartment, St. John’s, Newfoundland

6. Marcy Johnson, car, engine, road

Answers: Pronouns (p.32)

1. This (demonstrative), I (personal) (S)

2. Everyone (indefinite), she (personal) (S)

3. you (personal) (S),  yourself (reflexive)

4. That (demonstrative), who (interrogative), it (personal) (O)

5. What (interrogative) you (personal) (S), each (indefinite), their (personal) (P)

6. I (personal (S), myself (reflexive), anything (indefinite), that (relative)

Answers: Verbs (p.510)

1. need (action), will be (helping)

2. write (action), give (action)

3. has been (helping), sitting (action)

4. will be (helping), watching (action), play (action)

5. offered (action), was (linking)

6. has (helping), been (linking)

Answers: Tense and Voice of Verbs (p.515)

1. “will have arrived,” future perfect

2. “is relayed,” present perfect, passive

3. “will be dedicated,” future perfect, passive

4. “was asked,” past, passive; “had,” past

5. “have been told,” past perfect, passive, “face,” present

6. “bought,” past

7. “will start,” future

8. “works,” present

Answers: Adjectives (p.518) Please note: articles such as a, an, and the are sometimes classed as adjectives, but students may or may not choose to include them here as adjectives. Numbers such as three and four may be included, but do not have to be, as they are also cardinal numbers.

1.a (or indefinite article),  unhappy

2. an (or indefinite article), long, chatty

3. an (or indefinite article), English, black

4. an (or indefinite article), unusual, dining

5.The (or definite article), tired, red

6. few (or indefinite pronoun), a (or indefinite article),, slow, the (or definite article), resort

7. three, four (or cardinal number), the (or definite article)

8. the (or definite article), the (or definite article, beautiful

Answers: Adverbs (p.520)

1. more, frequently

2. noisily

3. quickly, intently

4. swiftly, silently

5. wearily

6. very fast

Answers: Prepositions and Their Objects (p.521)

1. before (P), rainstorm (O)

2. from (P), sunburn (O)

3. for (P), reasons (O), of (P) security (O), at (P), times (O)

4. after (P), dark (O), at (P), camp (O)

5. across (P), street (O), on (P), roof (O)

6. at (P), end (O), in (P), hall (O)

Answers: Conjunctions and Interjections (p.523)

1. not only, but also (CC)

2. While (SC)

3. Rats (I)

4. Although (SC)

5. consequently (CA)

6. indeed (CA)

Answers: Phrases (p.526)

1. gerund, noun

2. infinitive, noun

3. participial, adjective

4. prepositional, adverb

5. infinitive, adjective

6. prepositional, adverb

Answers: Clauses (p.529)

1. noun

2. adverb 

3. adjective 

4. adverb 

5. noun 

6. adjective

Answers: Clauses (pp. 531-32)

1.a. “A career requires . . .” IC, (Simple)

1.b. “Because the bag was full . . .” DC, “the vacuum cleaner backfired . . . IC, (Complex) 

1.c. “When Tom arrived . . .” DC, “his roommate asked . . .” IC, “where he had gone . . .” DC, “; six hours seemed  . . .” IC (Compound Complex)

1.d. “My apple tree blossomed . . .” IC, “; however, he peach trees have withered . . .” IC (Compound)

1. e. “It’s risky . . .” IC, “because one can . . .” DC, “that the confidence . . .” DC (Complex)

2. Answers will vary.

CONNECTED DISCOURSE EXERCISE Identify and correct the sentence fragments in the following letter (p.534):

Dear Phone Company:

Recently I received a phone bill for over $500. While I do use the phone fairly extensively. Most of the calls I make are local ones. In this case, many of the calls on my bill were to other countries. Including a phone call to New Delhi, India. I can hardly be held responsible for these calls. Especially since I don’t know anyone who lives overseas. Since the only long-distance call I made was to Sudbury, Ontario. I have deducted the charges for all the other long-distance calls from my bill and am sending you the balance. In order to prevent this type of error from happening again. Would you please have a representative determine why these charges appeared on my bill?

Sincerely,

Desperate

Fragments are underlined. Corrections may vary.

Answers: Sentence Fragments (p.534)

1. S, F The clerk handed the package to the customer and walked swiftly away from the counter.

2. F, S Exhausted by his efforts to push the car out of the snowbank, Paul slumped wearily into the easy chair.

3. S, F The dinner honoured three retirees, one of them my father.

4. F, S After tidying up the kitchen. My parents left for the movies.

5.  F, S If Dr. Frankenstein’s experiment is a success, he’ll throw a monster party to celebrate. 

6.  F, S Even though Ned studied very hard, he had trouble with the test.

7. S, F The dog barked at the stranger and chased him from the property.

8. F, S By leaving the ballpark before the last out was made, we avoided the after-game crowd.

CONNECTED DISCOURSE EXERCISE Identify and correct the comma splices and run-on sentences in the following letter (p 536):

Dear Desperate:

We are sorry to hear that you are having difficulty paying your bil; (CS) it is, however, your responsibility. Unfortunately we have no way to prevent you from making overseas call. You have to curb your own tendency to reach out and touch your friends. Following your instructions, we are sending a technician to remove y our phone. Please be home this Friday morning; (RO) he will arrive then. Even though we will remove your phone, you are still responsible for the unpaid portion of your bill. (CS)  It is your financial obligation. We would dislike referring this matter to a collection agency (CS) . Iit could ruin your credit rating.

Sincerely,

Your friendly phone representative

Answers: Fused Sentences and Comma Splices (p.534)

1. FS Lee is a difficult person. He becomes angry whenever he doesn’t get his own way.

2. C The student appeared puzzled by the instructor’s answer to his question, but he 

    said nothing more

3. CS The doctor warned Allan about his high cholesterol level, so he went on a highfibre diet.

4. FS Sally researched her topic thoroughly and wrote her report carefully;  as a result 

    she received an A

5. C It’s nice to see you again; we should get together more often.

6. CS The horse stumbled and nearly fell in the backstretch; nevertheless it managed 

    to finish second

7. CS Janice thought the exercises would be easy, but after finishing them she found that 

    her whole body ached.

8. CS I’ve just started to take up chess, so you can hardly expect me to play well.

Corrections will vary.

CONNECTED DISCOURSE EXERCISE Identify and correct the subject–verb agreement errors in the following letter (p. 538):

Regional Accounts Manager:

One of your area phone representatives has seriously misread a letter I submitted with my bill. I refused to pay for long-distance overseas calls since neither I nor my roommate know anyone who lives overseas. Instead of deducting the calls from my bill, she sent someone to remove my phone. Now my phone, along with many of my valuable possessions, has been removed. Unfortunately the technician, whom I allowed into my apartment only after carefully checking his credentials, was a thief. He locked me in a closet and cleared out the apartment. I have called the police, but I also expect the phone company to reimburse me for my losses. There are only two choices. Either the stolen items or a cheque covering the loss needs to be sent to me immediately. Otherwise I am afraid I will be forced to sue. A jury is sure to rule in my favour. In addition, I expect to find that those overseas calls have been deducted from my bill.

Sincerely,

Desperately Desperate

Answers: Verb Forms (p.539)

1. have

2. is

3. are

4. take

5. represents

6. makes

7. Has

8. was

CONNECTED DISCOURSE EXERCISE Identify and correct the pronoun–antecedent agreement errors in the following letter (p. 541):

Dear Desperately Desperate:

We were sorry to hear about the theft from your apartment. Apparently a gang of con artists recently had its base of operations in your city. They posed as repair technicians and presented false credentials to people expecting their phones to be repaired. Someone also must have intercepted your mail and written his or her own response since we have no record of any previous letter from you. Clearly neither the representative you mentioned nor the phony phone technician could have held his or her position with our company. All of our technicians must provide us with their fingerprints and take periodic lie detector tests. Further, none of our representatives will answer correspondence since it is not a part of his or her job description. For these reasons, we do not believe we are responsible for your losses. However, a review of our records shows that you owe $500; we have included a copy of the bill in case you have misplaced the original.

Sincerely,

Accounts Manager

Answers: Pronoun Agreement (p.541)

1. his or her

2. their

3. their

4. his or her

5. its

6. her

7. their

8. its

CONNECTED DISCOURSE EXERCISE Identify and correct any faulty pronoun references in the following memorandum (p. 543):

TO: Director of Food Services, Groan University

FROM: Vice-President of Services

DATE: February 19, 2008

SUBJECT: Student Complaints about Cafeteria

Complaints about food quality and cafeteria hours are common but easily resolved. The cafeteria hours can be extended by simply installing vending machines. These vending machines might not make for a nutritious meal, but they certainly will undercut some of the dissatisfaction. Of course, no matter how good the food, students will complain. Still, you can partially defuse those complaints by having students list their major concerns and then meeting them. Of course, you can always increase student satisfaction by purchasing a soft ice cream machine and offering ice cream for dessert.

Answers: Pronoun Reference (p.544) Corrections will vary.

1. (F) Ann told Jennifer, “ The boss wanted to see you.”

2. (F) Ruth took off the ring that was hurting her finger.

3. (F) The farmer’s market sells many kinds of produce.

4. (C)

5. (C)

6. (F) Knowing that my friends like hot dogs, I grilled hot dogs at the picnic

7. (F) When Jeffrey rose to make his speech, the entire class started laughing

8. (F) The paper told about the province’s budget surplus.

CONNECTED DISCOURSE EXERCISE Identify and correct the unwarranted shifts in person in the following paragraph (p. 545):

Good health is clearly important to you. But it is your responsibility to ensure your own good health. You can start with simple exercises. We would like to provide you with a low-impact aerobics DVD for only $9. We guarantee that the more out of shape you are, the quicker you will notice the benefits. The way our bodies feel affects the quality of our lives. Let our tape help you to a better life.

Answers: Shifts in Person (p.545-546)

1. (C)

2. (F) We like the location of our new house very much; we are close to a couple of 

   large shopping centres

3. (C)

4. (C)

5. (F) If you complete a degree in vocational education, you can expect a rewarding 

career.

6. (F) Once we learn to ride a bicycle, we never forget how

7. (F) Those wishing to make the trip to Kelowna should make their own hotel 

 reservations.

8. (C)

CONNECTED DISCOURSE EXERCISE Identify and correct the pronoun case errors in the following paragraph (p. 548):

Between my brother and me, we are always able to pull at least five goodsized trout a day from the creek behind our house. We rural trout fishermen just seem to have the knack. Of course, those city fishermen who insist on employing artificial flies won’t appreciate our methods even if they can’t do as well as we can. We just let our bait, usually a juicy worm, float downstream to the waiting trout. Of course, my brother won’t let the fishing interfere with his sleeping. In fact, it was he who developed the idea of looping the line around his toe so that he would wake up when a trout took the bait. Others have told my brother and me that this method is dangerous, but neither of us has lost a toe yet. Of course, the people whom we invite to dinner don’t complain about our methods, and they seem to enjoy the fish.

Answers: Pronoun Form (p.549)

1. who

2. I

3. We

4. whom

5. I

6. us

7. I

8. me

CONNECTED DISCOURSE EXERCISE Identify and correct any inconsistencies in showing time in the following passage (p. 550):

There is no better time to go swimming than at night. The summer after I had graduated from high school, I  had worked for a landscaping company. After a sweaty day mowing lawns and digging up gardens, all of us who worked there would jump into the back of Dick’s old pickup and rattle out to Woods Lake. It was just dark as we arrived. The moon was beautiful, reflected in that black mirror set in a frame of hills. We stumbled down a small, sandy hill to the beach, where we stripped off our dusty jeans and sweaty shirts before plunging into the cool reflection of stars.

Answers: Shifts in Tense (p. 550)

1. (F) Although the alarm had rung, Bob continued to lie in bed

2. (C)

3. (F) John is writing his dissertation but finds the job tough going.

4. (F) When the trapeze artist fell into the net, the audience gaspsed loudly

5. (F) When I had baked the cake, I ate a slice (or After I baked the cake, I ate a slice.)

6. (F) Edward walks for half an hour before he eats dinner. (or Edward walked… before he ate dinner.)

7. (F) Sarah has many friends but sees them infrequently.

8. (F) As Elaine was walking toward the garden, a rabbit scampered quickly away

CONNECTED DISCOURSE EXERCISE Identify and correct the adjective–adverb errors in the following paragraph (p. 552):

This year our football team is outstanding. Spike Jones, our quarterback, has been playing very well this past season. Stan Blunder, the more talented of our two ends, hasn’t dropped a pass all season. The team can almost always count on Stan to catch the crucial first-down pass. Of course, the team wouldn’t be where it is today without John Schoolyard’s good coaching. He has made this team much  better than it was a year ago. Only the kicking team has done badly this season. Of course, with this wonderful offence, the defensive players haven’t got much practice. The good news is, then, that we can surely expect to watch some terrific university football for years to come.

Answers: Proper Word Form (p. 552)

1. stronger

2. less

3. well

4. Almost

5. silliest

6. badly

7. funniest

8. deepest

Answers: Misplaced Modifiers (p. 556)

1. (C)

2. (MM) Brenda returned the cottage cheese that had spoiled to the store. 

3. (MM) Wearing heavy boots, the hikers tramped through the woods. 

4. (C)

5. (MM) Mark mailed a package sealed with masking tape to his friend. 6. (MM) The woman packing her suitcase glanced hastily out the window at the commotion in the yard.

7. (C)

8. (MM) In Regina Jerry bought an Inuit carving for his bedroom. (It is also possible that students may assume the bedroom is in Regina, in which case the sentence would be correct.)  

Answers: Dangling Modifiers (p. 557)

1. (DM) When I danced at the wedding reception, my feet hurt.

2. (C)

3. (DM) Looking out the window, I saw that a velvety lawn ran down to the river’s edge.

4. (DM) Our parents wouldn’t let us keep the stray cat with the mangy fur.

5. (C)

6. (DM) As I reminisced about my school days, a run-in with my principal came to mind.

7. (DM) Unaware of what had happened, Nan was puzzled by the confusion. 

8. (DM) When I was eight years old, my father wrote a best-selling novel.

Answers: Parallelism (p. 559)

1. (C)

2. (NP) Although he had practised for several days, the scout could tie neither a square 

    knot nor a bowline3. (NP) This job will involve waiting on customers, and maintaining our inventory.

4. (NP) My summer job at a provincial park gave me experience in repairing buildings, 

    operating heavy equipment, and assisting park visitors

5. (C)

6. (NP) Once out of high school, Barry plans to join either the navy or the air force.

7. (NP) My favourite sports are swimming, golfing, and bowling.

8. (NP) Janice’s leisure activities include collecting coins, reading, and watching TV

CONNECTED DISCOURSE EXERCISE Identify and correct the misplaced modifiers, dangling modifiers, non-parallelism, and faulty comparisons in the following memorandum (p. 561):

TO: All Residency Hall Advisors in Knuckles Hall

FROM: John Knells, Residence Hall Director

DATE: March 13, 2008

SUBJECT: Noise in Residence Hall

Recently I received a report from a student that deeply disturbed me. Apparently, after quiet hours students are still having visitors in their rooms, playing their stereos loudly, and even staging boxing matches in the halls. The student who has written me has desperately tried to study. However, disturbed by the noise, he is often forced to leave his room. He has not been the only one to complain. You should know that we have had more complaints about Knuckles Hall than about any other residence on campus. Since discussing this problem with you at the last staff meeting, things haven’t seemed to get any better. Not only are the rules poorly enforced, but they are also completely ignored. Your job performance is worse than the students’ behaviour. If you don’t improve immediately, I will be forced to dismiss you.

Answers: Faulty Comparisons (p. 561)

1. (FC) The houses on Parkdale Street are more modest than those on Windsor Terrace

2. (C)

3. (FC) The finish on the dresser is not as smooth as the finish on the end table.

4. (FC) In contrast to the aboveground sprinkling system in your yard, I have an underground sprinkling      system in my yard.       

5. (FC) My mother’s homemade jam has more flavour than any other jam I’ve eaten.

6. (FC) . The dresses sold at The Bay are much less expensive than the dresses sold at Tres Chic Shoppe.

7. (FC) The paint on the front of the house is much lighter than the paint on the back of the house.

CONNECTED DISCOURSE EXERCISE Supply, delete, or relocate apostrophes as necessary in the following memorandum (p. 564):

TO: The Records Office Staff

FROM: The Assistant Registrar

DATE: January 27, 2008

SUBJECT: Faulty Student Transcripts

Recently, we have had too many student complaints’ complaints about handwritten transcripts. Apparently it’s hard to tell the B’s and D’s apart. One staff member’s handwriting is totally illegible. This staff member’s carelessness is unacceptable. Someone’s even gone so far as to write grade change’s changes in pencil, which allows students to make changes. This can’t continue. In a short time, John and Marys’ student assistants will be typing the past transcripts into our new computer system. Once grades are entered, the computer’s ability to generate grade reports will solve this problem. Until that time, let’s make an effort to produce clear and professional-looking transcripts.

Apostrophes added where necessary. 

Answers: Apostrophes (p.565)

1. boss’s, company’s

2. Let’s, what’s, Melany’s

3. Dave’s, Marvin’s

4. It’s, it’s (The first and third “its” are incorrect. The second its is correct.)

5. Sue’s, friends’

6. l’s, e’s

7. everyone’s, we’ll

8. consequently’s, accordingly’s

CONNECTED DISCOURSE EXERCISE Add or delete commas as necessary in the following letter (p. 569):

Dear Loy Norrix Knight:

While we know you will be busy this summer, we hope you will take time to join us for the twenty-year reunion of the graduating class of 1991. The reunion will include a cocktail hour, a buffet dinner, and a dance. For your entertainment we are going to bring in a professional band and a band starring some of your good old high school chums. John Mcleary, who is now a well-known professional nightclub performer, will serve as the emcee. Do you remember him hosting our Grade 12 assemblies? Yes, many of your former, hardworking teachers will be at the reunion. You can thank them for the difference they made in your life, or you can tell them what you’ve thought of them all these years. This reunion will also be your opportunity to catch up on the lives of your former friends, find out what that old flame now looks like, and brag a little about your own successes. And, if you are really lucky, you might even be able to sneak a dance with your high school prom partner. We hope you will make plans to join us here at the Penticton Hilton on July 28, 2011, at 7 P.M. Wear your best 1990s-style clothes. Remember, revisiting the past can be fun.

Sincerely,

The Reunion Committee

Answers: Commas (p. 569)

1. Before leaving, Jim stopped to say goodbye to Lisa.

2. Although our prices continue to go up, people will probably keep buying our computer games.

3. This store’s burglar alarm system, which is very outdated, should be replaced immediately.

4. Stepping into the cool pleasant bake shop, Annette bought a large cinnamon doughnut for a snack.

5. Mr. Kowalski was born in Warsaw, Poland, and became a Canadian citizen on February 15, 1994.

6. The brakes on our car aren’t working, so we’ll have to take the bus.

7. The movie-going couple bought popcorn, candy bars, and large Cokes at the lobby concession stand. 

8. For more information about the Scotland tour, write Doreen Campbell 218 Riverdale Street, Windsor, Ontario M6T 3Y7.

Some commas are optional.

CONNECTED DISCOURSE EXERCISE Add and delete semicolons as appropriate in the following letter (p. 571). You may have to substitute semicolons for commas.

Dear Student:

Our university, as you are well aware, has been going through a number of changes, and these developments, both  in the registration system and the curriculum, will continue next year. In the end these improvements will only benefit you, but we know that many of you have been anxious about the exact nature of the changes. To answer your questions, we have arranged an open forum with Linda Peters, president of the university; Drake Stevens, the registrar; and Jerry Mash, vice-president of academic affairs. The meeting will be held in Johnston Hall, 2 P.M., March 23. Please come with your questions; this is your opportunity to put your fears to rest.

Sincerely,

Jessica X. Pelle

Dean of Students

Answers: Semi-colons (p. 571)

1. The garage sale included women’s coats, hats, and purses; men’s shoes, shirts, and ties; and children’s scarves, mittens, and boots.

2. James couldn’t stand his sarcastic boss; therefore, he quit his job.

3. Our house is far too small; we should start looking for a larger one.

4. Morris wanted to work for a company that was small, environmentally responsible, and located in a midsize city; and finally, after a dozen job interviews, he went to work for Greenland, Inc.

5. This has been a good year for raspberries; I’ve got more than thirty litres from my small patch of bushes.

6. C

7. After touring the company’s facilities, we had lunch with Giles Seymour, its president; Cheryl James, its sales manager; and Daryl Brewer, its research director.

8. Penny is a real cat lover; in fact, she has six cats.

CONNECTED DISCOURSE EXERCISE Add, change, or remove end marks as necessary. You may want to do some slight rewording (p. 573).

It was horrifying!  The mob of screaming fans grabbed Jack Slitherhips as he left the concert hall. Soon all I could see were his arms reaching for help, but it never came. Why do fans act this way? I am left wondering whether they love or hate their idols. They tore the clothes off Slitherhips and patches out of his hair. Someone even snatched his false teeth. Is this any way to treat a fading rock star? Jack is now in the hospital in a complete body cast. When I finally got to see him, he mumbled that he was giving up show business. He plans to settle down on a small farm. Who can blame him?

Corrections will vary.

Answers: End Punctuation (p. 574)

1. C

2. C

3. Good lord! Quit popping that gum before you drive me nuts!

4. C

5. Where do you plan to spend your vacation this year?

6. While you were in Vancouver, did you go to GM Place and see a Canucks game?

7. Would you be interested in having dinner with me tonight?

8. C

CONNECTED DISCOURSE EXERCISE Supply any necessary or appropriate colons, dashes, parentheses, and brackets in the following letter (p. 576):

Wayout Auto Company:

We at Oldfield Sales—a subsidiary of Jip, Inc.—have had a serious problem with the cars we ordered from your company for leasing to our customers (who will probably never return to us again). Two major parts fell off while the cars were sitting in the customers’ driveways: the exhaust system and the transmission. If this had happened while they were driving (thank goodness it didn’t) our customers could have been killed. Just imagine what that—especially once it got into the newspapers—would have done to our business. We must hold you to your claim that “while our cars are the cheepest [sic] on the market, we garnishee [sic] every car we sell.” We expect immediate reimbursement for all the cars we purchased from you plus one million dollars to cover the damage to our reputation. A menace, a rip-off, a bad business deal—that’s what your cars are. If you don’t issue a formal recall for all your vehicles by 5:30 P.M., Friday, July 23, we will be forced to forward this matter to the federal government.

Sincerely,

Ken Swindelle

Service Manager

Some corrections may vary.

Answers: Punctuation (p. 577)

1. Worthington’s new house (mansion would be a better term) has twenty-eight rooms.

2. This resort offers unsurpassed facilities for three winter sports: ice skating, skiing, and tobogganing.

3. Two long meetings, a shopping trip, a dinner engagement—I’ve had a busy day!

4. The main parts of the pressure tester include (1) an indicator dial, (2) a hose connection, (3) a damper valve, and (4) a sensing unit.

5. At the tone, the time will be 3:30 p.m. exactly.

6. The headline stated: “Students Voice They’re [sic] Disapproval of Tuition Hike.”

7. “His [Charles Darwin’s book On the Origin of Species] touched off a controversy that still continues,” the lecturer declared.

8. One major social problem will remain with us for years—the need for more affordable housing.

CONNECTED DISCOURSE EXERCISE Use quotation marks correctly in the following paragraph (p. 579).

Mr. Silver recently lectured our class on Stephen Crane’s “The Bride Comes to Yellow Sky.” “One thing we shouldn’t forget,” Mr. Silver insisted, “is that the town is deliberately named Yellow Sky.”  What is the significance of Crane’s choice of the words Yellow Sky? Mr. Silver pointed out a number of possible associations, including cowardice, the setting sun, the open expanse of the West, freedom, and the sand in the concluding passage. “The story,” Mr. Silver stated, “is drenched in colour words.” “For example,” he pointed out, “in the first three paragraphs alone Crane mentions vast flats of green grass, brick-coloured hands, new black clothes, and a dress of blue cashmere.”

Answers: Quotation Marks (p. 579)

1. Jeffrey called the novel’s plot “a hopeless mishmash.”

2. “I think,” said Tom, “that I’ll go to Niagara Falls for the weekend.”

3. What poem has the lines “Home is the sailor, home from the sea, / And the hunter home from the hills?”

4. Denise tells everyone, “I prefer classical music”; however, her CD collection includes only hard rock and country music.

5. In his closing argument, the attorney challenged the jury: “How would any of us act if accused of a crime we didn’t commit?”

6. “At last my paper is finished,” John said happily. “Now I can start typing it.”

7. Does anyone here know the difference between affect and effect?

8. Why did Neil’s wife ask him, “How would you like me to dispose of your

remains?”

Answers: Quotation Marks (p. 581)

1. The task of re-siding the house will take three days.

2. Margaret is the most self-sufficient person that I’ve ever met.

3. Judge Grimm gave the convicted arsonist a ten-to-twenty year prison sentence.

4. Nearly three-quarters of our chemistry majors go on to graduate school.

5. When I was thirty-five years old, I quit my boring job and opened my own small business.

6. Most of my ex-soldier friends belong to veterans’ organizations.

7. Jeremiah’s anti-government tirades have caused most of his friends to avoid him.

8. The orange-red flowers growing next to the house contrasted strongly with the dark grey of its walls.

Answers: Capitalization (p. 583)

1. The recipe for this stew comes from The Canadian Family Cookbook.

2. My cousin has accepted a job with the federal national mortgage association and will move to Ottawa, Ont., in July.

3. The announcement said that Sergeant Brockway had received a second lieutenant’s commission.

4. The newest municipal judge in Boyle City is Judge Martha Berkowicz.

5. Unless sales increase markedly in the next quarter, the Delta Corporation will be forced into bankruptcy.

6. We need to buy some Shreddies, Mum.

7. What are your postretirement plans, Professor?

Answers: Abbreviations (p. 585)

1. The conference on poverty in the twenty-first century will be chaired by Donald Frump, Ph.D.

2. When writing, don’t use Latin terms such as i.e. and e.g. except as comments in parentheses and footnotes.

3. The United Nations Educational, Scientific, and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) sponsors programs in primary education throughout developing countries.

4. My physics instructor, Dr. Seth Greenfield, Jr., has just completed a textbook on optics.

5. The thermometer on my front porch says that the temperature is 19° C.

6. At 10:20 a.m., the local TV station announced that a tornado had been sighted near Leesville.

7. This fall, the Columbia Broadcasting System (CBS) will air nine new sitcoms.

8. Which would you prefer, Mr. Bartleby, tea or coffee?

Answers: Numbers (p. 586)

1. Fifty thousand people ride this city’s buses each day.

2. The article on page 59 of this weeks issue of Maclean’s discusses Alanis Morisette’s latest CD.

3. Next Saturday at 1:30 p.m., the city will test its emergency warning sirens.

4. My grandparents’ golden wedding anniversary was July 17, 2009.

5. Mildred has 500 books, 200 CDs, and 55 DVDs.

6. It is not uncommon for credit-card holders to pay interest rates of 18 percent or more.

7. Laura’s plane will leave for Halifax at 2:30 p.m. on May 16th.

8. The thickness of this piece needs to be increased by 0.15 of a centimetre.

CONNECTED DISCOURSE EXERCISE Use hyphens, capitalization, abbreviations, numbers, and italics properly in the following passage (p. 588).

Because I can speak Russian fluently, I was recruited by the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) while still at Boston College. I suspected that it was Professor Hogsbottom, a political science teacher, who had suggested that they consider me. After all, he had been a general during World War II (WWII) and still had connections with the intelligence community. It turned out that my brother-in-law was responsible; he was an ex-FBI agent. Soon I was an American spy located (of all places) in England. Who would suspect that we had to spy on the English? For three years I posed as a British aristocrat who was a general bon vivant and man-about-town. I went by the alias of Mr. Henry Higgins, Jr.  Everyone, of course, wanted to know if I had seen My Fair Lady. Personally I thought the whole thing was a Monty Python type of joke until I found a position in the British secret service. Who could have believed the British kept so many secrets from their American allies? For twenty-one years I spied on the British without anyone suspecting that I was an all-American boy. I did find out recently, however, that because of my fluent Russian they had suspected me of being a Russian spy and had been feeding me false information all along.

Answers: Italics (p. 589)

1. To keep abreast of the business news, I read both Investor’s Daily and Forbes.

2. Next week, Boris is taking the Siberian Express to Irkutsk, Siberia.

3. Of all my art prints, I like Erte’s Fishbowl best.

4. There are few artistic statements against war as powerful as Picasso’s Guernica.

5. My uncle served on the cruiser Indianapolis during World War II.

6. Because Pam lost her brother’s copy of Moby Dick, she bought him a new one.

7. Sometimes when I try to print a b I make a d instead.

8. In Scotland, the term lum refers to a chimney.